Holiday season is almost upon us, and that means gifting season as well. (I just spent the day at a craft fair picking up presents, so my wallet is well aware of this fact.) With gifts on the brain, I’ve been thinking about one of my favorite — and trickiest — categories of presents: books.

A reader’s contradiction

As a reader, I love lending and gifting books. Books are thoughtful, affordable, and deeply personal. Watching someone’s eyes light up as they tear through the wrapping paper — and realizing you’ve reignited their love of reading — is pure joy.

So you might assume I love receiving books as gifts. But… not exactly. As an avid reader, I actually prefer gifts that are literary-adjacent — things that enhance my reading life rather than expand my already teetering TBR pile.

Why the disconnect? It comes down to how high I set the bar for a truly great book gift — and how rarely it’s met.

What makes a Great Book Gift?

When I give a book, my goal is to make the recipient immediately excited to read it. If they don’t start flipping through the pages within minutes, I’ve missed the mark.

Over time, I’ve come up with a few principles that guide me.

1. Meet the reader where they’re at

It’s taken me years to learn this lesson, and I think it will take a lifetime to stick. It’s tempting to gift a book you love — but the best book presents are tailored to what the reader will actually enjoy right now.

This can apply to a whole host of things. There’s genre: If they most often read modern romance novels, a book on math games is probably not going to pique their interest. There’s topic: if they prefer to learn about science (as do many of my friends), a historical mystery might be a tough sell. If you, like me, like to buy books for your friends’ kids, get them something age-appropriate – your average 5 year old will not enjoy The Great Gatsby, even if it’s a classic. There’s even language: if they’re into the classics, pick your authors carefully!

And most importantly: now is not the time to be judgy about what your friends read. You’re giving joy, not assigning homework. So think carefully about what they could reasonably be expected to read, and start from that baseline.

2. Add a touch of the unexpected

The best gifts surprise and delight. While sticking 100% to what someone likes to read guarantees you a reasonably happy friend, my best book presents always involve an element of surprise. Stay close enough to your recipient’s tastes that they’ll engage, but far enough to spark discovery — an author they’ve never heard of, or a genre that blends with one they already love.

To me, a present is something that my loved ones wouldn’t have bought for themselves – something they didn’t know they wanted, but that they love anyway. Most often, this is opening an adjacent door into more reading – an author they weren’t aware of, a cross-genre read that might get them into something new. For my nonfiction-loving friends and family, this might be finding a well-written book on a topic they didn’t realize had been studied.

But, especially for more well-read friends or those with strong affinities for certain books, this can also be a question of format. Personally, I love collecting beautiful editions of the books I love the best (Folio Society is a personal favorite). And getting a beautiful copy for someone to lose themselves in can be just as gratifying as introducing them to something new. Sometimes, you can even do a “twofer”: one of my favorite literary presents was a richly illustrated, 3D popup edition of a children’s chapter book series to a friend’s daughter. She’s now obsessed with the series – and an avid reader of fantasy and fiction.

3. Show care for their interests (not yours)

This has been implicitly stated in the prior two points, but it’s worth making explicit: buy books for your loved ones, not at them. Even if you think cozy fantasy novels are facile garbage and your friends should read Dickens instead, a present is not the way to persuade them. That shiny new copy of Nicholas Nickleby will sit on a shelf for years, inducing guilt, until it ends up in a library donation pile.

It is my strong belief that presents are about creating joy and showing care. And shoving your own tastes down someone else’s throat is not a great way to do that. Presents are about connection, not correction. If you’re not sure what they like, check Goodreads, ask a bookseller, or skip the book entirely and go for something bookish instead — a nod to their passion without presuming their taste.

4. Consider their reading lifestyle

Not everyone wants a physical book. Some prefer e-books. Others like to listen to their reading. (Yes, it counts!) If you’re gifting to children, they may be reading with a parent – and if they’re young, they may not yet know not to tear pages. (Board books exist for a real reason!) Even if they’re a physical book reader, would they prefer a single, luxurious hardback or several cheaper paperbacks? Lots to consider…

…especially when it comes to less traditional formats for book presents. If you’re gifting an audio book, you’re not just selecting a plot, but also a narrator. Do your research to make sure the narration is as good as the narrative. Same for those new interactive e-books you can get with fancier tablets; even standard-seeming e-books may not be portable to your reader’s device. And if you’re gifting an epistolary novel with interactive bits and pieces, make sure they’re all in there! Getting a copy of Abrams’ S with missing paraphernalia would be… frustrating at best.

Why I (mostly) prefer non-book gifts as an avid reader

Here’s the irony: as much as I love giving books, I rarely want to receive them.
I read widely — easily 150 books a year — which makes it hard for others to surprise me. The joy of discovery is hard to recreate when you’ve already devoured half the bookstore.

The one exception to this is probably a fancy edition of a book I love. When there’s a book I want to read over and over and over, I love having an heirloom edition on my shelf. I’m a proud owner of several Folio Society editions of Sayers, Christie, and Austen, and my dream would be a library of favorite editions. I’m a proud book dragon and I would love to expand my hoard.

The only way to top a surprise deluxe edition would be to add a touch of the emotional. I recently saw a lovely video in which someone’s friends all read her favorite book and left annotations in it before passing it to the next. The result was a fully marked-up copy of her favorite book in the world, full of her friends’ thoughts. Be still, my reading heart.

If you’re gifting books this season, I hope these reflections help you find the kind that spark true delight. And if you’d rather go the bookish route, I have some ideas for you here (and more to come later this year!).

Until next time – stay cozy, and stay curious!